um something just printed and i didn’t print it
my parents are all asleep
i’m scared
it was fucking tickets to yo gabba gabba live
are you gonna go
(Source: whoffle, via nottyoufatjesus)
someone actually made this. someone sat down at their computer and having had the idea to make this they used an image editing program and pieced the images together presumably after having found them on a search engine. the internet made this possible. billions of years of human evolution made this possible. this is the result of billions of years of human evolution. what a time to be alive.
(Source: street-ratchetz, via nottyoufatjesus)
(via fuckbiddiez)
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
…you know. Just when I start to lose faith in humanity….Hm.
(via invisible-monsterz)
My boyfriend just told me that the Krabby Patty secret ingredient is crab hence why it’s called a Krabby Patty and why Mr. Krabs is so secretive over it because he doesn’t want people to know they’re eating people like him and Plankton is actually a good guy.
oMG
That’s what happened to his wife!
(Source: courag3, via nottyoufatjesus)
Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!
(Source: dandelionpunx, via invisible-monsterz)
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
emojis are so cute and i love that brown haired girl in pink dress emoji and brown haired boy in blue shirt emoji are together
but even brown haired boy in blue shirt emoji has his secrets…
(via nottyoufatjesus)
Let’s have an Arrested Development viewing party next Sunday! We can all log on to tumblr and start watching at the same time and eat frozen bananas and drink all the vodka before it goes bad.
(Source: slothsaturday, via invisible-monsterz)
(Source: supreme-liquorice, via jamjars)
(Source: dirudo, via pantsareunwelcome)
